What Rules!
by Clyde Dennis, a.k.a. "Mr. How-To"
There are things that we do automatically
internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are.
Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently
examine.
A few months ago I made a statement in a small group of co-workers concerning
the fact that somewhere along the way, as a mechanism (as in "clear the...
" (from the movie 'For the Love of the Game', see it if you haven't. It's
awesome...)) for getting through tough situations, I developed the belief that I
always win. ALWAYS! Until I said it and it was "out there" I hadn't
ever really thought about it in terms of being a belief that I had. I feel
though that having this belief has smoothed me out. I don't suffer drastic
fluctuations in the way I feel based on how things are going for me. Basically I
always feel pretty up in the game. It's because of this goofy voice in the back
of my mind that constantly reminds me that no matter how bad things may look
right now "you know you're gonna win, why even get bothered about it".
I just believe I'm always going to win. What I'm saying here is that no matter
what the situation I believe that if I keep my head, and dig into it more I will
be shown a way to see myself as better off for the new experience that I've just
encountered. No matter how rough the experience may appear to observers on the
outside, you'd better understand and believe on the inside Clyde's winnin' baby.
A little education here, bare with me...
Back when I was playing in lots of racquetball tournaments, and losing more than
I was winning, it was rough mentally. There were times at the end of certain
matches when I had just got beaten so badly that I really seriously considered
trying to dig a hole into that hardwood floor and covering myself up. This
rather than go out of that stinkin little door and face what was on the outside
of the court. Racquetball is not a huge spectator sport but there were some
tournaments in California and Texas, two states where the sport enjoys it's
largest participation, when somewhere around 500 to 600 people would turn out to
see the action. Now that doesn't sound like a lot of people when you consider
how many people show up for some other sporting events, but in racquetball the
fans are a lot closer to you when you exit the field of play than they are in
most other sports. So close in fact that you can feel their stares and hear
their comments about your performance, and we all know everyone has an opinion.
They get to look into your eyes, and you into theirs. That's close, and not
always comfortable. It's one of the now small things that I had to learn to deal
with.
In racquetball if you get beat without scoring, as in 15 - 0, it's called
"taking a donut". Let me tell you guys and girls something right here
right now, you gotta have a strong constitution to take a 'double donut' in a 2
out of 3 game match and still show up the next weekend to possibly face the same
opponent with many of the same people looking on. At one point my practice
buddies took to calling me 'the baker'. I must have set some kind of record with
the number of donuts I took in tournament play. I got so tired of hearing the
question "Man, what happened?" that I developed a personal policy to
never talk about the score off the racquetball court. Whether I came out ahead
on the scoreboard or not I never talked about it. Period.
From this policy of never acknowledging the scoreboard grew inside of me a
complete lack of focus on it. I would go into matches with personal goals that
had nothing to do with what was on the scoreboard or how the match turned out.
What I began to figure out was that the less energy I put into keeping score the
more I had to put into playing the game. Which I guess made me a better player
because the better I got at controlling this focus the more I played on Saturday
and Sunday. (Which is a good thing.) Mentally letting go of the scoreboard freed
me up to just play, which I had no problem doing once I figured this out.
Here's the meat.
When it comes to what you focus on, realize it's your decision. In life you can
choose to focus on what everyone else thinks is important, or you could pick 2
or 3 things for yourself. Things that are important to you. You can be told
what's important and accept what you've been told, or you could figure out for
yourself where your focus should be based on what works for you.
Do not be afraid to be different. That's the beauty of the system were all in
here together. We're all going to the exact same place but we all have different
road maps for getting there. Your journey shouldn't look exactly like mine,
because my journey is not your journey. How you get to where we're going is
between you and your internal guide.
In closing I want to encourage you to be you. Examine the things that work for
you and do more of them. The things that don't work for you, discard them. If
being focused on the scoreboard doesn't work for you then forget it exist.
Establish your own scoring system. Make your own rules. Define things in your
own terms. Of course there is an established frame work within which we must all
work, but I have found that the borders of this frame work are a whole lot
further out than they first appear to be.
Don't wait to be led to where you want to go, be your own leader. Go there.
Thanks for your time.
Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.
C...
About the Author:
Clyde Dennis, a.k.a. "Mr. How-To" has been writing and publishing
Articles and Newsletters online since 1999. Clyde's company EASYHow-To
Publications provides "How-To" information on How-To do, be or have
just about anything one can imagine. For more information visit http://www.EASYHow-To.com.
Email correspondence for Clyde should be sent to: cdennis at easyhow-to.com
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